If you love me, won’t you say something?

Many of you may be familiar with the song “Best Part” by H.E.R. featuring Daniel Caesar. It happens to be one of my favorite songs. I’ve listened to this song at least one hundred times but there was this one time that as I was singing the portion of the song that says, “If you love me, won’t you say something?” that stuck out to me. Largely, “Best Part” is considered a secular song but as clear as day I felt the Spirit of God say “April, if you love me, won’t you say something?” I was shocked and at a loss for words. At the same time, it made perfect sense.

I was shocked because this was a secular song, so why would I receive a message from God while listening to this specific song? I can’t answer that question but this experience does confirm that God works in mysterious ways. I think deeply about the track I was on in life which was referenced in my previous post “Frustrated to a New Level” and I can understand why to an extent.

I was so caught up in my own mess, He had to reach deep down where I was (in my sin) to save me. Oh God! That’s so powerful!

For me, He met me where I was; He cared that much about me. God was holding me accountable. How can I say I love God and love the things of the world just as much? How can I say I love God and be stuck deep down in sin? How can I say I love God when my life truly isn’t representative of that?

If you notice on my feature image above, it asks, “Do you love me? Yes or no.” I remember when I was in grade school and we’d pass notes to our crush, our notes looked similar to this. They typically didn’t say love, preferably the word “like” but as many coin today, we boldly “shot our shots!” I chose this feature image with purpose because if you notice, there is no “maybe” box which completely eradicates grey areas.

I have been a grey-area-lover-of Christ for far too long. What I mean by grey area is that I loved Christ at my convenience. I’ve manipulated our relationship and abused His grace. I participated in a relationship that was beneficial to me. I misused talents and displaced my gifts. I’ve promoted worldly desires while simultaneously unraveling my eternal treasures. I’ve prayed prayers of forgiveness and repentance with a precarious intention of doing the same things.

God was clearly calling me to action and my spirit was constantly reminded as I kept hearing, “April, if you love me won’t you say something?”

I realized that I had wasted efforts on fruitless endeavors and exhausted myself trying to run away from what was already destined for me. So now what will I do? I don’t have a concrete plan with elaborate details of everything I can do to live my life in a way that displays my love for God but I have committed to giving my life to Him and letting Him take care of the rest.

I began to understand that I didn’t have to do some great work and reach the masses but instead I realized that I could do my part and that God would make it great and captivate those it needed to. My recent blogging has been an attempt to display the fact that I love God! I know there’s much more in store but this is a start. I encourage you to tune your ears into what God is saying because He will speak to you. If you love God, how is your life saying it? God bless you on your journey!