My Forever Journey

You ever had that nudging feeling? That feeling that kept resurfacing? You know the thing God is calling you to? There are a few things in my life that have nudged at me in the spirit. So many times, we claim we don’t know the calling for our lives, or our purpose or God’s will and I have to object because is this really true?

We operate in confusion. We don’t know which way to go. We start things prematurely. Or chase the thing that’s lucrative. Or start and then give up too soon. You know, all the things.

But God’s purpose for your life is interwoven into your very being.

“For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him”- Colossians 1:16

I say that to say you were created on purpose, with purpose. What things are you good at? What are your talents? Your gifts? What are the things that you are passionate about? How could you bring glory to God with your gift? How can you step out boldly in your gift?

Once you figure out what your talents and gifts are, I encourage you to pursue them. Your talents and gifts aren’t for you. The tree doesn’t eat its own fruit. Your gifts are for other people and I’m sure you’ve heard before that so many people are attached to you walking in your purpose and using your gifts.

I read the book titled, “Crazy Faith” by Pastor Michael Todd and as implied by the title, the book is all about having faith–Michael Todd reiterated throughout the book that it’s crazy until it happens. It’s a book that encourages readers to chase relentlessly after what God has purposed them for and to exercise crazy faith until it comes to fruition.

This podcast is evidence of not only the book, but my purpose. One of my gifts is writing. I went to college and graduated with a degree in journalism. When I graduated, I was too shy and insecure in not only my ability to write but in God’s ability to use me thorough writing. I didn’t have the faith and faith is required.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” –Hebrews 11:1

Whatever God has put in your head and in your heart…He purposed you for it. I could visualize the thing God wanted me to do. I often see the end but I couldn’t see the steps and I couldn’t understand the “how.” But isn’t it just like God to reveal the parts without the whole? You want to know why? Because He is the whole!

Chase after Him! He requires your faith as you pursue your calling. As you step out in crazy faith, He opens doors, creates opportunities, bridges gaps, overcomes insecurities, increases faith, provides ability, sharpens skills, and the list goes on. Someone’s salvation is contingent on your purpose.

God wants the best for you! And what He has for you is His best! He just needs you to walk in faith! God holds you accountable to the things He calls you to. He prepares you as you pursue Him. He equips you as you pursue Him. God holds you as you pursue Him; as you pursue your purpose. God bless you on your journey.

Peter was able to walk on water just like Jesus did until he took his eyes off Jesus and focused on the wind. It was in that moment Peter began to sink.

Sometimes we have our eyes on Jesus and then start to focus or worry about our circumstances around us and we, like Peter, begin to sink. We become overwhelmed with our problems.

But as soon as Peter cried out “Lord, save me!” Jesus reached out His hand and caught him.

Have you lost sight of Jesus? Are you overwhelmed with earthly conditions and underwhelmed with Him? It’s time to cry out to Jesus for help! “Lord, save me!” As soon as you say these words, Jesus will save you immediately just as He did Peter.

Matthew Chapter 14 verse 31 says, Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?” When you make your problems bigger than God, you doubt him. Focusing on your trials only proves that you don’t believe or have faith that Jesus can solve them.

Bills, grief, disease, depression, etc. none of them are too hard for God! Don’t sink in the water, I encourage you to cry out to Jesus! Don’t take your eyes off Him! It’s in your focus on Him where you find solace. Yes, your problems may continue for a little while BUT GOD will continue a little while longer.

We may not understand why our lives play out the way they do but we can rest assured that God is in control.

Matthew Chapter 14 verse 36 says, “They begged him to let the sick touch at least the fringe of his robe, and all who touched him were healed.” All you need to do is touch the fringe of His robe and He will make you well; you will be healed. He’s so powerful that just the minimum of his robe has to be touched; faith as strong as a mustard seed!

You don’t have to worry, just pray and keep your eyes on Jesus! Philippians 4:6 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” As long as you keep your eyes on Jesus, everything will be alright. God bless you on your journey!

I have been at a loss for words as the world as we know it has come to almost a complete shut down. Even as I write this blog post, there’s a certain level of hesitation that has built up around my finger tips. I want to make sense of it. I want things to go back to normal. I want to get out of the house. I want to see my friends and family. I want to know the end of this is near. I want people to stop dying. I can go on and on about what I want but I’ve quickly come to realize that it’s not about what I want or what anybody wants. I’m certain that God has taken the “power” from our hands and has rightfully proven Himself again. I put the word power in quotations because as humans we think that we’re in control of everything; we really think we have power to make things work the way we want them to. I’m sure many of us have lived long enough to know that God has a way of showing us who’s really in control in certain aspects of our lives but what are we to make of covid-19?

Maybe we aren’t supposed to make sense of it. Maybe our finite minds could never fathom the outcome of covid-19 if the ending or solution had been revealed to us as soon as the pandemic was. If we knew what the ending would be, why would we need faith in God? There’s so many maybes and so many unanswered questions but there is one constant and that is God is in control.

I have a problem with idolization. I can admit to it. Of course in the 10 commandments God says not to make idols. Some people may be largely confused about this, I know I used to be. I used to think of idols in terms of worshiping another god in place of God. While it still can mean that, the commandment is so much more loaded. Whatever takes the place of or impedes a relationship with God is an idol. An idol is something in your life that is elevated higher than God. Idols are distractions from God and can come in many different forms. So now that there is some clarification, what has God taken the backseat to in your life? It’s quite the question to ponder but like me I’m sure there’s at least something we can mention. It can be the pursuit of love, a girlfriend/boyfriend, spouse, children, careers, hobbies, business ventures, alcohol, partying, money, etc. The list can go on and on. While in quarantine, I encourage you to answer that question.

Let’s be clear, you can still read God’s Word, meditate on it, pray, attend church, volunteer in different ministries at church, serve your community, etc. and still have idols. The intricacies involving idols can be so vast that we have to be increasingly careful as we continue to develop as Christians. Sometimes we get so caught up in the routine of things that we neglect the fact that our bodies are physically present in spaces our minds never attended which brings me to the question of what is God trying to do in this season in our lives? In these devastating times, what is God trying to show us? What is He requiring of us that we’ve never done before? Because once it’s all said and done, we can never go back to the way things were.

Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their heart, and put the stumblingblock of their iniquity before their face: should I be enquirer of at all by them?”- Ezekiel 14:3

I think it’s time for us to really sit and listen to what God is trying to tell us and answer these questions for ourselves. Some of us were too busy. Some of us are merely working just to die with no real purpose. Some of us made time for everything else but God. I hope you spend this time getting closer to Him. I hope you discover your purpose. I hope you find joy in your family and time with loved ones, develop your talents/interests, and/or get some rest. God has literally called the world to be still. As I wrote in a previous post, there is purpose in stillness. What we have to understand is that we are going through trying times but it’s not about what’s happening to us but for us. Hopefully this pandemic has revealed a lot for you. It’s time to get back to God.

I notice families walking around the neighborhood in amounts I’ve never seen before, neighbors being neighborly, families cooking and having dinner together, parents at home spending more time with their children, and children becoming more independent in their learning. I notice the promotion of self care and quality time. There is always good even in the midst of what seems bad; always a light amidst darkness. We still have to be in continuous prayer for the lives that have been lost to the coronavirus, for those in bereavement, for those dying alone, for nurses, doctors, medical staff, cashiers, restaurant workers, police officers, the military, and all persons who continue to put their lives on the line for our well being. We have to pray for children everywhere because everyone’s home environment isn’t the most ideal. We have to pray for those who struggle with addiction, depression, and loneliness. We have to pray for everyone that has lost their jobs during this time. God will make a way! He will never leave us nor forsake us. God bless you and your family on this journey!

This past week, my hometown (Charleston, SC) was impacted by Hurricane Dorian. Our local news started reporting about it & initially I didn’t invest a great deal of attention on it. As the storm approached, the meteorologists seemed as uncertain as they had been when they initially started reporting about it. This hurricane was different, it’s path was unpredictable, and honestly no one knew if it would hit us. Since we were in the path, our county was declared under a state of emergency, school was canceled, and necessary precautions were underway.

I was used to leaving every time a hurricane (we get them often) would directly hit Charleston. My family and I would pack up & have the best hurrications (it’s a made up word combining the words hurricanes and vacations). My son began to love this time of year just for the trips! This time was different. This time they couldn’t figure out if we’d have a direct hit or not. So for the first time in a very long time I made the decision to stay amidst uncertainty. No matter what came now, I had to weather the storm.

It was midnight last Thursday when the storm passed along our coast. I woke up around 2AM as the power flickered on and off. Through my blinds I could clearly see the trees as they bent back and forth caught by the grips of such powerful winds. I have a lot of trees in my backyard so I did have a fear of a tree or two falling. I gazed on hopeful that my house would be protected from tree falls or any damage.

Eventually the sounds of the wind put me back to sleep. I woke up again to flickering power because I’m used to sleeping with the TV on. I once again saw those trees tossing in the wind and God spoke to me. Since I teach Science, I’ve taught a lot about roots being a structural part of plants that is vital to their survival. As I looked at those trees, I started thinking that many of those trees probably have been standing longer than the totality of my life; that they’ve weathered many other storms before. Then I immediately began to envision the intricacies of their roots. I started to imagine how deep their roots had been in the ground, intertwined with others, and some obviously more deeply rooted than others. As I looked on, I was so impressed that even in the midst of a hurricane, those trees held their ground. God put on my heart this question, how deep are your roots planted?

As those trees tossed and branches broke off and leaves fell to the ground, I started to really question how deeply planted and rooted am I in Jesus? It’s so easy to say we’re believers and we have faith but I’m starting to question whether that’s enough anymore. My son and I even prayed the day before aloud in my living room and we declared that we had faith that He’d protect us during the storm. I was so certain after that prayer. I wasn’t worried about anything.

The tricky thing about faith is, it can’t be conditional. Faith is a consistent and constant belief in God no matter what the circumstances look like. It’s easy to say a prayer and believe initially and then your faith waiver or be completely eradicated when it’s put to the test which brings me back to the question posed earlier. How deeply planted am I in Jesus? While I can’t answer that question quantitatively, I can be honest and say not deeply enough. I want to be like the trees in my backyard; firmly planted.

Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.”- Colossians 2:7

As I looked at those trees the next day more closely, I realized that none of them had completely fallen nor were uprooted but a few were broken. Some lost a number of branches (large & small), one lost the upper half of the tree, and others lost bundles of leaves. Even in the midst of their brokenness, they still stood. Isn’t that what God is requiring of us? No matter how life has changed or even at points broken us we still have to stand firm on His Word and His promises. This hurricane served more than just a mere physical purpose, it provided a spiritual one too.

I’ve learned that it’s unacceptable to God to have front-loaded faith; it’s either all or none. I’m committed to having complete faith in Him. After all, He’s proven Himself over and over. I am like one of the broken trees that stands in my backyard. I’ve had numerous surgeries but like the broken tree God kept me standing. I’ve endured chemotherapy and all the symptoms alike and God kept me. I’ve had a miscarriage but again God kept me. I survived Hurricane Hugo at the age of 1 when our townhouse (at the time) lost it’s entire back wall & all the windows blew out and God kept me. I’ve even survived being held at gun point in my mother’s belly as the gas station she worked at was robbed and God kept me. I have way more reasons to trust Him.

As my son & I cleaned our yard (after the hurricane) and picked up the branches and raked the leaves, I thought about how we have to go through certain storms in life to loose some things off of us. Sometimes we have to remove people, negative thoughts, jealousy, and even bad habits. Sometimes God will take you through a storm to break some things off of you. Those trees in my back yard broke a lot off but they’re still standing and so are we! I’m committed to taking a deeper dive into my relationship with God and having faith in Him, are you? God bless you on your journey!

I’ve always had a difficult time making difficult decisions. Typically, I’d think through the reasons that led me to want to make a decision in the first place, I’d present these reasons to my close friends and family, I’d pray, and often times find myself in the same situation that I started off in. After all of the effort that I just mentioned (for one single decision), I’d excessively think about it over and over to a point where I’d often unravel all of my reasons that led me to wanting to make the decision in the first place. I’m an over thinker.

If you look back to what I said in the first paragraph, I realized that I had the whole order wrong. Notice I said that I would start of with MY reasons when I should have started off with a prayer to God.

“For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

What I didn’t realize at the time is that I propositioned my reasons for a decision that I wanted to make to God instead of trusting God to lead me to make the right decision. I even spoke to my family and friends before praying as if rallying a team of people to support my decision was more significant than God helping me to make a decision in the first place.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6).

I’ve learned to start with prayer. Once I present my requests to God, I now have faith that He’ll lead me to make the right decision or to simply work it out on my behalf. Here’s where I continued to lack in my prayer life, I learned that it’s not enough to just pray. It’s not even enough to have faith. I’d never sat in silence after prayer. What I mean is, I’d say my prayer and continue to move on with the busyness of my day. I never realized the significance of simply being still after prayer until now. There’s something so sweet in sitting still after prayer. There’s an opportunity for me to hear God in my stillness. There’s room for me hear His voice in the midst of the quietness.

Prayer isn’t a one-way conversation where God just simply hears me but it’s more important that I listen to Him but I can’t hear Him if I’m always busy moving. I have to be still. God already has the answers. He already knows but if I can just be still enough to hear Him, I’ll receive what I need through prayer and be able to confidently walk in the calling that God has for my life.

So I encourage you to be still. Simply, be still. Even after you’ve prayed, put your faith in God, and have sat in stillness with God, then you have to wait. The beauty in waiting is knowing that it’s going to happen. The difficulty of waiting is being patient for your turn. I’m learning as I travel throughout life’s journey, that being still and waiting on God are paramount. What are you looking for God to do in your life? Have you been still enough to hear Him? God bless you on your journey!

I’ve noticed that it’s human nature to want to disclose the positive things in our lives. Social media has provided a platform for us to do just that. Of course sharing the good things that happen in our lives like graduations, careers, marriages, and children are inevitable but are those the only significant points in our lives?

I’ve learned that some of my biggest blessings were produced in the valleys of my life. I’ve come to understand that people don’t always benefit from the good things that happen in our lives but rather from the depths of our biggest trials which leads me to the purpose of my post: divorce.

I would have never thought that I’d be filing for divorce. Let’s be honest here, typically when people get married, they aren’t anticipating the end of their marriage. I also have to be honest and own that I never imagined being married either. I was different growing up. I wasn’t a girl that fantasized about my future as a wife.

While specific details aren’t important to share, I do want to disclaim that I’m not writing to glorify divorce and make a mockery of marriage. I’m hoping that someone can gain from my story so I created a list to consider before and during marriage.

1. Don’t get married young. For some it works but for a larger portion, it doesn’t. According to Wilkinson & Finkbeiner Family Law Attorneys, over a 40 year period 67 percent of first marriages terminate, the average first marriage that ends in divorce last about 8 years, and the average age for couples going through their first divorce is 30 years old. I got married when I was 22-years-old and my marriage has lasted a little over 8 years. I’m 31 now. I literally became someone’s wife a mere 4 years into my adulthood. I didn’t give myself a chance to graduate from college much less live. I didn’t know who I was and I handled things immaturely. Get to know yourself, gain some experiences, and be wise with who you choose to make a life partner.
2. Don’t get married because of a pregnancy. I got married at 22 because I found myself young and pregnant. I think back to being an immature 22-year-old pregnant woman who was vulnerable. Vulnerability caused me to be irrational. I was simply flattered that someone wanted me to be their wife. I didn’t realize that the somebody mattered; that the somebody was tied to the marriage itself. I was going to make a life with my child’s father, what better way to string my life along? Joining a new marriage with a newborn baby adds a layer of stress that is unmatched.
3. Pray before you get married. I simply didn’t pray. I didn’t pray and ask God if the marriage was what I should be doing. I didn’t pray and ask if my husband was right for me. I selfishly made a decision with my own objective in mind. I didn’t consider the plans of my Heavenly Father.
4. Seek pre-marital counseling. I didn’t. Counseling has gained in popularity but still is an undervalued resource. So much insight is provided when couples pursue counseling before marriage. It helps with clarity, setting goals, establishing compromises, and further secures the relationship before it enters into a marriage.
5. Communicate. I know we always hear communication as one of the more prominent keys to a successful marriage but it’s true. Any communication is important but meaningful, honest communication is paramount. If we’re not honest in our communication, the marriage suffocates. Things don’t get better without sound communication.
6. Forgiveness. As my marriage ends, I learned that as I journey into the next phase of my life, I have to forgive because if I carry the weight of my past into my future, I’ll continue to be pained, hurt people, and operate in a cycle of dysfunction. Forgiveness during a marriage is just as substantial. None of us are perfect and we all make mistakes so be willing to forgive and move on.
7. Consider your children (if you have them). They are innocent and they didn’t particularly ask to be present in your mess. So clean it up but keep the best interest of your children in mind because they need both of their parents. My son is the most important person to me in the world, so I had to lay my pride to the side, relax my ego, and forgive because raising him right and helping to usher him into his God-given calling is bigger than the failure of my marriage. Your children will benefit from happy, functioning parents not miserable, bitter ones.
8. Keep God first. Everyone says it but they don’t always understand the true meaning. The Bible says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). The Bible also affirms, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22) The Bible continues, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her” (Ephesians 5:25). I am guilty of reading scripture but not always necessarily applying it. Application is just as important. Remember, “If anyone then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it is sin for them” (James 4:17). It’s way deeper than just being aware of scripture because when we don’t apply it, we risk the demise of our marriages.

For readers who have gone through a divorce or are facing a divorce, please know that there’s still the other side. What I mean is, if God kept you this far, what makes you think He’s going to stop now? Even in our lowliest places, God never leaves us. Even when we mess up over and over, God never leaves us. He’s present. He will be with you as you journey to the other side. Life doesn’t stop. It continues. I encourage you to continue to walk with God and He’ll recover everything that was lost. He’ll restore you. He’s the God of second chances (and 7,549th chances too).

The beauty is you’re still here and He’s not done with you quite yet. God still has a plan uniquely made for you, you just have to wait. Waiting can be hard. Waiting can be the biggest giant we face. Waiting produces patience and it heightens frustrations. The Word says, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31). Just wait and in your waiting still be devoted to God. As my pastor said, “God is a wait watcher.” He sees you and He’s watching. You’re not just waiting for anything but for something divine! What He has for you requires more time because it’s not like anything else that anyone else has, it’s just for you. As stated by Sarah Jakes Roberts, be hungry enough to wait! Sometimes you can’t just accept anything; sometimes you have to pass up some deals, some friendships, and even some relationships out of hunger for what God truly has for you! It’s important not just to wait but to be hungry for the right thing; for the God thing!

As I write to you all, I’m writing to myself. I’m excited about the plans God has for me past divorce! I know greater is coming! Please be encouraged on your journey and God bless!